Last Saturday evening my wife's Grandmother Trudy Allen passed away after blessing all that knew her for 93 years. Liz, my wifes cousin, made a wonderful video montage, I hope you enjoy this tribute to Trudy's enduring impact on all of our lives.
Eulogy for Trudy Allen by her grandson Jason Shanker
February 7, 2008
There is so much about my grandmother that I admire. When I was young, and knew little about her life, I just knew that she was the perfect grandmommy. Though we grew up on the other side of the country, we got to visit here often and she came out to California to visit as well. Those were times that my sister and I would look forward to for months, and talk about for months afterwards. Grandmommy's house always had a cookie jar (unfortunately a tradition we did not carry forward into our house). Magically it seemed always to be full (no matter how many of them I would sneak out!). She always remembered birthdays, and her voice on the phone was the sweetest, kindest thing a little kid could hope to hear.
As I grew up and learned more about her, I came to realize that there was a lot more to her than just being that perfect grandmother. There was a strength and a courage and a resiliency to her that would be very easy to miss if you went just by appearances. The fact that this gentle, softspoken, kind soul had seen so much of the world, had seen so much of both joy and hardship, and had persevered through all of it was something you only learned little by little about her.
Part of the reason that knowledge came so slowly is because Trudy was the very last person who would ever complain about her circumstances or brag about her accomplishments. In all the years I knew her, I can't recall ever seeing her angry, or ever hearing her complain about anything. Into every life some hardship must come, and it's up to us how we deal with that hardship. Whenever my grandmother faced difficulty, she focused on what needed to be done to take care of her family and her loved ones and then she picked up and set about doing that.
The amazing thing about the strength she exhibited was that she was a strong, capable and independent woman decades before it came into fashion. Driving your three girls cross-country might not seem like such an unusual thing to undertake today, but she did it 58 years ago in 1950 when she drove her girls out to the West Coast. Raising those three girls in a warm and loving home was a gift she gave them which I'm sure changed all of their lives.
My daughter, Ellie, loved her great-grandmommy from the first moment they met. Ellie talks about her great-grandmommy all the time, and when her plastic toy phone “rings” and we ask her who it was it seems more often than not to be great grandmommy on the phone. I'm so grateful that Ellie got to know her great-grandmommy, and that our second daughter (whose impending arrival prevented my wife Jenny from traveling here today) will grow up hearing stories of her great-grandmother's life. As the father of two little girls, I am so grateful for the incredible example they have in their great-grandmother. Her courage and quiet strength in the face of adversity are qualities I will always admire, and the love and kindness she showed us are things I will always strive to show my own children as well.
Thank you so much for being here today to help celebrate this remarkable and amazing life.
