Saturday, December 22, 2007

What College Viewbooks Don't Tell You

There are some real gems in here!


reprinted from
http://www.geocities.com/CollegePark/6174/h--colle.html


1. Quarters are like gold.
2. Be creative in the dining hall.
3. Flip flops become as important as soap, shampoo, etc.
4. You will never find so many excuses for a bucket.
5. Asleep by 2:30 am is an early night.
6. New additions to the food groups: Mountain Dew, Doritos, Ben & Jerry's, Ho-Hos and Oreos.
7. Make sure your alarm clock has back-up batteries.
8. Showers become less important.
9. Sleep becomes more important.
10. Two meals a day are standard.
11. Recycling becomes synonymous with laundry ("Oh, my jeans can last until Christmas...there's only a *little* bit of mud on them...").
12. You can never make too many meals in a crock pot or hot plate.
13. 10 minutes is more than enough time to get ready for your first class.
14. Going to the mailbox was never an ego booster/breaker before.
15. It takes more than one person to carry your laundry, books, trash, etc...
16. You begin to nap again.
17. Your bill in the bookstore will almost equal tuition.
18. Isn't it amazing that the book your professor wrote is always required for his class?
19. Labs used to be fun.
20. T.A. used to stand for teaching assistant, now, for terribly articulated.
21. Squirt guns = stress relief.
22. E-mail becomes your second language.
23. Frat parties are exactly like they are in the movies.
24. Ten-page papers used to sound impossible, now they're a Godsend.
25. You never realized so many people are smarter than you.
26. You never realized so many people are dumber than you.
27. Professors are like celebrities: you see them, but they never see you.
28. Western Europe could be wiped out by a horrible plague and you'd never know, but you could recite last week's episode of "Friends" verbatim.
29. See every movie under $3 that your campus provides; it's actually proportional to the amount of money you have.
30. Road trip whenever possible.
31. Pick up all new lingo.
32. Plain pasta never constituted a complete meal before.
33. The health service attendants are there because they couldn't make it in a real hospital, never ever forget that.
34. Forget putting the toilet seat down, you just pray that they flush.
35. Frisbee becomes a contact sport.
36. Care packages rank up there with birthdays.
37. College girls are the same as high school girls, just with more freedom...and no curfew.
38. It never sucked so much to get sick.
39. Pop a vitamin and breakfast is covered.
40. Learn to love your roommate, especially when he leaves you the room.
41. You always thought that worshipping the porcelain god was just an expression...it's not!
42. You'll learn more about male genitalia than you ever thought necessary, guys talk more about that than women and sex put together.
43. Beware the freshman 15, or in some cases, the freshman cup size.
44. Even though the beds are long, they are also extra narrow.
45. Things that were a huge deal in high school are now commonplace.
46. You never thought you would share so much about yourself with people you have known for such a short time.
47. Computer games go in and out faster than the latest fashions.
48. Any game can be made into a drinking game.
49. Disney movies are more than just classics.
50. Find one thing you like in the dining hall and go with it.
51. You will hear more stupid nicknames than you ever thought possible.
52. Phone calls almost never happen and when they do, you just don't get the messages.
53. Cereal makes a meal any time of day.
54. Keep your high school term papers; nowadays, everything is recycled.
55. ATMs are the devil's advocate.
56. Beware the boy in the Care Bear toga.
57. You almost forget how to drive.
58. You'll drink anything if it's free.
59. People still cheat, it's just more technologically advanced.
60. You get really good with excuses for skipping class.
61. The girl you're going to marry may live right next door, so keep your stereo down.
62. Ordering food at 1 am is a common occurrence.
63. You never realized how cool you can be.
64. TV becomes a bigger time sucker than ever before.
65. You realize how great your hell summer job was once you get to work study.
66. Keys have never been so important, yet you seem to lose them more than ever before.
67. You meet the type of people you only thought existed in the movies.
68. You learn to sleep with light, noise, extreme , and roommates snoring.
69. You don't have to cover your textbooks anymore.
70. You become a juggler with the balance between school, friends, girls, activities, work, parties...
71. You live for chicken finger day at the cafeteria.
72. People that were geeks in high school seem okay now.
73. You begin to realize that college is about the ideal lifestyle, except for those pesky classes.
74. You get good at rationalizing on whether to do homework or not.
75. Procrastination becomes an art.
76. Jeans may be worn as many times as the wearer desires (for example, see # 12).
77. The only reason you ever dress up is when everything else is dirty.
78. Your parents start to tell you stories about their college days.
79. With all the wealth of knowledge around you, you start to feel like you're on intellectual welfare.
80. Going to the mini-mart is a major treat.
81. You have two kinds of shoes: everyday shoes and party shoes.
82. Classes: the later the better.
83. The cute girls actually talk to you now.
84. The longer you're there, the less you talk about home.
85. Always wear your safety goggles, they're not kidding.
86. You just don't learn last names.
87. Card games never lasted for hours before.
88. Boys will dance in college.
89. People who never talked to you in high school are now your best friends when you come home.
90. You are NEVER alone.
91. It's amazing how late you can stay up doing absolutely nothing, yet falling asleep in class or in the library takes an average of two seconds.
92. You spend a ridiculous amount of time pondering the mystery of whether the cafeteria Lucky Charms are the real thing.
93. People magazine is your deep philosophical reading material.
94. You begin to subdivide your room into sections such as den, library, etc. to make it sound like a house.
95. All you have to do to make new friends is have mom send up some cookies.
96. You never realized how quiet your house was.
97. Dishes aren't dirty enough to wash until they have bugs and/or mold in them.
98. Printers only break down when you desperately need them.
99. You get along so much better with your family now that you never see any of them.
100. You become an expert at space optimization.
101. Anything can be cooked in a microwave.
102. Girls are almost as messy as guys. Girls just hide it better.
103. A trip to the grocery store requires 3 hours, in order to price check everything.
104. You can't study when it is too quiet.
105. Your cherished CD collection will never be intact again.
106. Going out to a restaurant to eat, only happens when your parents come to visit.
107. You become a really good pen-pal when you have a boring class.
108. There is such a thing as a blow-off course.
109. You actually rationalize staying home and watching Ricki Lake to going to class.
110. The first sign of spring and classes become even less of a priority.
111. If an 8:00 am class is required for your major, change your major.
112. Clever margin manipulation can turn a 4-page outline into a 100-page senior essay.

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